As this white guy in his 30’s understands it, when we say that black lives matter it is because the media has had a history of not acting like black lives matter as much as other lives, and we ought to be better informed about the threats to the lives and livelihoods of black Americans, such as the inexcusable plague of excessive and lethal police force against young black men. The Black Lives Matter movement aims to raise awareness about issues effecting the lives of black people. It is NOT an attempt to devalue the lives of other races. Now, there may be more to it than that, but if we can all agree that that is a fundamental goal of the Black Lives Matter movement then we can continue. If not then I am misunderstanding something important here, and white people misunderstanding race issues is what I’m here to talk about, so if I’m wrong then maybe my wrongness will provide some insight into the whole thing anyway.
Anyway, my best guess is that 90% of whites who complain about “reverse racism” are somewhat sheltered young people from mostly-white communities who have mostly been exposed to racism via TV, movies, and books. That’s an apt description of my own upbringing, anyway. To them, black people seem to have more license to talk about race and make jokes about white people’s dancing skills, and overtly racist characters in fiction are always bad guys and usually living in the past. That is the extent of many white people’s exposure to race issues in America. Most black Americans have the unfortunate “advantage” of being exposed to racism in real life as well, and this of course gives blacks and other minorities a broader and well-informed understanding that whites can probably never fully have. That’s why too many of us miss the point when we hear “black lives matter” , that’s why it’s hard to have a productive conversation with someone who responds with “all lives matter”, because they don’t know that they’ve missed the point, and they don’t want to accept that they’ve missed the point because maybe they’re being a little bit… you know… that r-word? Rhymes with “bassist?”
Being called “racist” shuts down all higher brain function in white people, and we become impossible to talk to, because we know racism is horrible and we REALLY aren’t trying to be bad people here, honest. So all we can do is try and defend ourselves at that point because of this:
There is a difference between being racist and being a racist; one is an often un-intentioned failure to account for our own biases. The other is a worldview that is built on racist beliefs. We usually don’t make that distinction, so a LOT of white people hear “that’s racist” as “you’re a white supremacist!” And we are so scared of being seen that way that we will end up avoiding meaningful conversations about race issues with most nonwhites. We fail to critically examine our own imperfect, biased assumptions because we’re afraid of finding ANYTHING in ourselves that could associated with something so ugly and vile as white supremacists’ actions throughout history. I mean, it’s wrong that we fail to confront that in ourselves, but you can see why we’re not eager to.
I’m saying all this because I used to be a sheltered, young white kid from a mostly-white community whose exposure to racism came almost entirely from books, movies and TV. 15 or 20 years ago I may have bristled a little at the term “white privilege”, I may have missed the point the first time I heard “black lives matter”, I hadn’t heard NWA yet and there had been only one famous video of white cops beating an unarmed black men, and the reaction to the Rodney King assault seemed to send a strong message that police brutality would not be tolerated again.
I understand things better now. In another 15 years I’ll probably have a better understanding than I do now. But I’ll never have the same insights into race issues as, say, a black teenager living in Chicago (or anywhere else.) Or a Hispanic American living in Arizona. (Or, again, living anywhere else in the country.) Or a person from a Arab background, Indian background, Jewish background, etc. Everyone will have different insights based on life experiences, and every life is different.
We have to make peace with that, though. We have to be able to communicate because this is urgent, a matter of life and death. We are all a little prejudiced sometimes; each and every one of us, every race and ethnicity. It’s not right, but it’s part of human nature and pretending we’re perfectly unbiased prevents us from growing for the better. Let’s own up to that. Then let’s listen to what people from different backgrounds have to say, under the assumption that misunderstandings are all but guaranteed. So listen better, and remember that it’s ok to ask questions because that’s how you learn. And some of those questions will be met with bitchy replies because it’s the internet, mostly, where these conversations take place. But I think us white folk will find that the majority of Black Lives Matter supporters want the same thing that you do, they don’t think you are a neo-nazi, they value all lives equally and they believe that equality is good and racism is bad. We just use a different 3-word slogan to say it.
